SKJAM! (skjam) wrote in playthedamncard,
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Yu-Gi-Oh! Manga Synoptic Theater Special Chapter

In memory of Maddie Blaustein, here's a Grandpa-centric chapter of the manga....


Narrator: Previously, on Yu-Gi-Oh!, there were a lot of card games. But now let us pull back the curtain of time...



(Egypt. Valley of the Kings. 1960.)

Tomb Robber 1: I'm giving you one chance to turn back before horrible things happen.

Sugoroku: Are you kidding? I'm young and cool, and I'm not giving up the chance to be the star of a chapter for a change.

TR 1: Okay, let me give a little geography and history lesson. The novel bit is that one British expedition was wiped out, with the last survivor saying "the Shadow Games." You know, like the ones your grandson will talk about all the time.

Sugoroku: I think I'd better make a cool pose.

TR 1: It turns out there's one tomb no robber or archaeologist has ever looted, because none of them has ever passed the games. Which is why we hired a professional gambler.

Sugoroku: Because I'm not interested in money, yep.

(night)

TR 1: By the way, that tuxedo looks silly on you.

Sugoroku: I wear this as a symbol of respect for my opponents. Should I ever lose a gamble, I will trade in my tux for denim overalls and retire to a game shop. Call it foreshadowing.

TR 1: Just be sure you don't trade it in for mummy wrappings, youngster!

Sugoroku: I look forward to covering myself in honor by defeating the undefeated tomb.

(tomb entrance)

TR 1: Here's the tomb. Very dangerous. You go first.

Sugoroku: Much to my surprise, I can read Ancient Egyptian. Not surprising is that the hieroglyphs warn of death to tomb robbers.

(maze room)

Sugoroku: This looks to be the right place, judging by all the dead bodies. It's a big stone maze, with sword-wielding statues. Step off the path, and you fall to certain doom. But how did all those people up top bite it?

Tomb Robber 2: We're all a-gonna die!

TR 1: How did I let Mom talk me into taking you along? Look, we let this foreigner take all the risks, and we get all the treasure. And if he objects, I'll just shoot him.

TR 2: I'm afraid of guns!

Sugoroku: Must think carefully...thinking...thinking....

TR 1: I'll help your thought process along by pushing you into the room, triggering the door slamming closed and a spiked wall rolling us towards the maze.

TR 2: I'm afraid of moving spiked walls!

Sugoroku: And now the statues are moving to block the path and swinging swords!

TR 1: Even though it's entirely my fault we're in this situation, I expect you to fix it!

Sugoroku: Wait, when I put my left foot forward, as the Ancient Egyptians did to show respect to the Pharoah, the statues stop! Walk this way, guys.

TR 2: Sure thing. Hey, was that my left or your left? AIIIEE!!

TR 1: Even though it was my fault for bringing my little brother along despite him being an easily panicked coward, I'm still blaming the foreigner.

(Bridge Room)

Sugoroku: Hey, more Ancient Egyptian I can read for no apparent reason. Apparently, these elaborately carved stone slabs that make up the bridge will "judge" us in some manner.

TR 1: Hey, there's gold at the end of the bridge! I'm going to use you as a mine detector, okay?

Sugoroku: That was the plan anyway. I'm not too keen on the gun-pointing though.

TR 1: Okay, he's only one slab away from the end, and nothing bad happened. That means it's safe. So I'll just shoot him now.

Sugoroku: Ow. Good thing I was just barely able to grab the bridge with one hand while pitching over.

TR 1: I'll stomp on your fingers in a moment, but first, GOLD!

Bridge: You fail, tomb robber. Summon Monster!

TR 1: Dang, that thing is ugly. And hungry! AAIIIEE!

Sugoroku: Blood loss increasing...vision dimming...is this the end of Sugoroku Mutou? But wait, why does that angel have such spiky hair?

Mysterious person who looks like Yami: I've been waiting for you, Siamun.

Sugoroku: Who was that guy? How did I get back up on the bridge? Ooh, shiny box. What's a Millenium Puzzle?

(modern day)

Sugoroku: And that's how the Millenium Puzzle got into my game shop. God, I miss being cool.
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