Duel 2: Lying Eyes
Yugi: Previously, I put together a 3000 year old puzzle and gained a friend. These things might be connected.
Jonouchi: I watched porn last night, but all the good bits were digitized out. You want to see the video, Yugi?
Yugi: Sure! I may look twelve, but I've got the hormones of a sixteen-year-old.
Jonouchi: Look, there's a TV van parked in front of our building.
Yugi: You think there's a celebrity at our school? Let's look inside the van! ...Darn, mirror glass.
Director: Some kid is smearing up the van windows with his face. I think I'll do something horrible to him.
Reporter: "Bullying is bad." Wow, easiest hundred bucks I ever made. (leaves the story forever)
Director: Hey, patsy!
Fujita (Assistant Director): You called, master?
Director: Find the short spiky-haired kid and bring him to me.
Fujita: Uhh, my contract specifies "no procuring minors."
Director: Naw, I just want you to beat him up on camera. And make sure to look like a student while you do it.
Jonouchi: There's a movie star going to our school!
Anzu: No, there isn't.
Jonouchi: They're in disguise! I can make a bundle as a papparazi once I find out who.
Anzu: You've been smoking crack again, haven't you?
Yugi: I wonder if we'll ever find out why that van was there.
Random Student: Of course I'll tell a complete stranger in a badly-fitting uniform where to find Yugi!
Fujita: The things I do to stay in show business.
Jonouchi: I'm convinced there's a movie star, so I'm going to run off to find one. (leaves)
Yugi: Uh, thanks, Jonouchi.
Fujita: Hey, Yugi, I know who the movie star is, and she's really hot to meet you. Come on behind the gym.
Yugi: Even though I got horribly beaten up the last time I went there, my hormones tell me I must go.
Yugi: Hi, Fujita, where's the babe?
Fujita: Come a little closer and I'll tell you.
(Fujita beats up Yugi)
Fujita: What a maroon.
Jonouchi: Don't worry, Yugi, I'll rescue you!
Fujita: Eek! The jealous boyfriend!
Director: Cut! You were faa-bulous!
Jonouchi: Are you okay, Yugi?
Yugi: Thanks to you, Jonouchi.
Director: Ick, friendship. We don't need any of that in our show.
Jonouchi: I'ma beat you up!
Director: Just as long as you know that you're being filmed.
Jonouchi: Ooh, I'm on camera?
Director: Not for long! (knee to the groin) Ha! I can do anything I want and edit the film to make you look like the bad guy!
Millenium Puzzle: Shoom!
Director: We'll mosaic your face so you won't be able to sue us. (leaves)
(ZTV parking lot)
Suit: Good job on the show, Director!
Director: Sex and violence does it every time. I think I'll murder someone on camera tomorrow.
Director: What, you want to make a career of pain?
Yami: No, I want to play a game. We'll take turns rolling a die. Low roll wins, tie means you win.
Director: Nah, I don't feel like it.
Yami: Oh come on, it'll be fun. Look, I rolled a six!
Director: Well, since I can't possibly lose, I'll toss the die at your head. (does so.)
Yami: Thanks to my sharp forehead, you've rolled a technically impossible seven. Penalty Game!
Director: Ahh! My vision is impaired! I cannot see!
Yami: Yes, your whole world has been digitally mosaiced like a bad reality show!
Jonouchi: Here's the porno video, Yugi!
Anzu: I like porno too!
Yugi & Jonouchi: No, give it back!